Finding my way Home…
Better get under cover, Sylvester. There’s a storm blowin’ up, a whopper. Just speakin’ the vernacular of the peasantry. Poor little kid, I hope she gets home all right. – Professor Marvel, Wizard of Oz
Without warning, life took a random turn that wasn’t planned or expected. After four years doing something that I love, I was possibly terminated. I was put on paid leave of absence, or as I like to call it “Paid Vacation”. I am slowly losing my mind. My character has been challenged and my reputation is in turmoil. As I sit at home driving myself crazy, I wait everyday by my phone hoping for the call that will let me come back to work.
I have spent 4 years as a Makeup Artist for MAC Cosmetics. I took people under my wing, raised their spirits by raising their self esteem, helped people living with HIV and AIDS, taught several of the best artists in San Francisco and the East Bay… but all that is behind me now. At this point I have stated my case and eagerly await the results of their investigation. When I am exhonorated, then I will worry about the people that told the lies about me.
“All right, I’ll go in there for Dorothy. Wicked Witch or no Wicked Witch, guards or no guards, I’ll tear them apart. I may not come out alive, but I’m going in there. There’s only one thing I want you fellows to do.” -Cowardly Lion
“What’s that?” – Tinman & Scarecrow
“Talk me out of it.” -Cowardly Lion
It almost makes me wonder, is it worth going back? After these lies and stories have been spread around people that once respected me… can one ever go back? It would take a long time to undo the damage that has been done to my reputation. For the sake of integrity, I want to fight. But because I am so non-confrontational, it would be so much easier for me to find another job. With my portfolio and extensive resume, it wouldnt take me long. But if I leave with unresolved accusations, I have no doubt they would only get worse.
This is the first time in over 6 years that I have been without work… and you’d think I would be enjoying the free time, but I’m slowly going in sane. Im drinking more, smoking more, having sex with random strangers way more… not a healthy way to pass my new found free time. My thoughts wander. My imagination runs away with me. Yet, my attention span is much smaller than the norm.
I suppose, worrying never made anything better. Im innocent and have paid my dues to the company, clients and community. It will be impossible for them to find someone more dedicated and passionate than me… for goodness sake I have Viva Glam lipsticks tattooed on my chest and my favorite brushes tattooed all over my arm.
As I sit hear in the yard watching the sunset on this beautiful day, the wind blowing across my chest and through my hair… I look forward to what the future has in store. I can spend a lifetime asking the heavens why something like this could happen to me. I can waste my life trying to figure out how people could think so little of a person they have known for 4 years. But why bother? There are so many possibilities for me. I’m young and from what I’m told, quite talented. All I have to do is look inside myself and the answers are all there. Hey… there is a reason my blog is entitled “Kansas is Within”…
“There’s no place like home… there’s no place like home…” -Dorothy Gale
